Painting heart-cries, word by word

If people were pandas August 10, 2013

Filed under: Uncategorized — verbosevictoria @ 12:01 pm

He says a lot of what I think. Only with more style.

The Matt Walsh Blog

The giant panda birth rate has been declining for some time. For whatever reason, giant pandas just aren’t getting busy like they used to, and this lack of panda romance has resulted in a sharp decrease in their population. Because of this, concerned citizens of the globe, environmentalists, scientists, animal rights activists and weird bestial perverts have all taken an intense interest in the sex habits of these Asian mammals. They have tried everything to encourage the cuddly beasts to make love and have little giant panda babies.

But why do we care about the giant panda birth rate? Why do we want them to reproduce? What does it matter if they go extinct? Well, because they’re cute, I guess. And they inspire mediocre animated DreamWorks films. And because — whether it’s pandas or seals or sloths — we never want to see any species fade out of existence.


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