Painting heart-cries, word by word

Guard Up! June 28, 2013

Filed under: Uncategorized — verbosevictoria @ 10:05 pm
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

This morning I felt the need for some perspective so I listened to a sermon given by Norm Willis about guarding our hearts during the trials that must come to each person. He specifically emphasized guarding your heart against offense.

So great, I’ve got a little perspective, I’m on my way out the door, here goes the day.

I’m in line at the butcher’s, which is a pretty chatty kind of place. People say hello, the butcher asks how the kids are, you know how it is. So there’s another mom in line ahead of me and she has a 3 week old newborn and a toddler. She turns to me and asks, “When are you due?”


I don’t really blame people for asking because I kind of perpetually look about 4 months pregnant. It’s just how things are for me right now. Still, it gets a little depressing having to explain over and over that I’ve already had my baby.

So I politely said, “Oh! I’ve already had him.”

She looked surprised and asked, “How old?”

“Four months.”

“What?! Why do you still have a pooch?!” (referencing my postpartum belly)

She put both her hands on her own tummy, and looked at me with self-satisfaction on her face. And then she proceeds to say this little zinger: “My pooch is all gone and it’s only been a few weeks!”

I’m going to be kind and not talk about our different body types.

At this point, I’m thinking “is this real life?” I’ve rarely come across someone willing to cross a woman, a STRANGER, in regards to her post-baby body. But now I’m getting it from ANOTHER MOM who just underwent childbirth? No compassion? Really?!

Apparently so. Alrighty then.

So I kept my cool and responded with this: “Well, it was my fifth so I figure that gives me a free pass to having a bit of a belly.”

She then decides to share that it must have been having stairs in her house and a toddler to chase after. She keeps active, see?

“Yeah, I keep pretty active myself. Chasing FIVE kids and all…”

We went our separate ways soon after that. At least the lady at the check out backed me up. I called my mom and my husband to get the experience out of my system before it soured my spirit. At one point I asked my mom, “Why didn’t I say something mean?!” and she said, “I don’t know. Why didn’t you?!”
Hehe. I love my mom.

But I knew even in that moment, I couldn’t respond that way. And I guess that’s what I get for deciding to work on guarding my heart against offenses.


100 Yard Dash Blogging June 26, 2013

Filed under: Uncategorized — verbosevictoria @ 9:49 am

Well it has been entirely too long since this happened, but my laptop has become temperamental all of a sudden, making long text documents nigh impossible to create. I can’t blog from my phone or my Kindle. It’s just too aggravating.

Here I am, though!

I’m not disciplined in my writing, during this time of my life, and I am overwhelmed by the possibilities of writing this blog. That means it is time for bullet points.

_I have always wished I could write humor. I have tried, but the best I can do is sarcasm. Laughing when something is said sarcastically is almost an act of profound relief, because you’re just SO glad it wasn’t about you. Truly funny writing is hard to do. Ah well, I suppose I can’t be reasonably good at everything.

_It feels so awkward in marriage when one spouse is inspired to greatness and the other is not…quite…there yet.  *feels awkward*

_Homeschooling conventions are something I have officially experienced. It was odd. From the determined hopeful newbies with their toddlers in tow to the veterans in denim skirts who sail through curriculum booths with an experienced eye–every single person there is addicted to KNOWLEDGE. We all just have this insatiable NEED TO KNOW. I learned some pretty cool stuff and even a few useful things.

_God is working on faithfulness in me. I finally get it. That’s why I keep feeling overwhelmed by the varied instances of unfaithfulness. And that’s why an opportunity to learn faithfulness on-the-job has arisen. (More on that another time.)

_My baby boy is so cute I can’t stand it. And he’s growing up so fast! 4 months old yesterday. Chubby, smiley, and sweet. Especially since I gave him a bath.

_It is an interesting feeling to have a deep-seated, CONSCIOUS conviction (not a sneaky presupposition you never realized was there) gradually challenged until you finally must concede it has entirely changed. Uncomfortable, yet invigorating. I’m glad I’m not stagnant.

_My old blogging stomping ground,, is fundraising for a complete makeover. I am so torn. On the one hand, I want it to succeed and I want to be part of it and I want to join the community I’ve so missed the last few years. On the other hand, community online was addictive for me and I’m having trouble justifying a monetary donation for a site that is part of my memories. I don’t want it to die! But I’m not sure I want to be part of it’s regeneration. Conflicting…

_I have really complex dreams most nights. If my subconscious has retained that many layers of character traits and plot lines, WHY do I find it so dang difficult to write even one novel? Maybe I should try hypnosis and have my subconscious write the stupid books. I’ll keep to my day job. I’ll be the first successful author who is totally oblivious to her own books.

_If I was successful with writing in a financial sense, I guarantee my husband would stay home and be a SAHD while I gallivanted across the country (world?) doing book signings and speaking engagements. That would be…awesome and bizarre? Seriously, I can’t imagine not being home all the time.

_I know what’s wrong. I’ve trained myself to be a sprint writer when what I want is marathon writing. Shoot.

_I should have made banana bread while he was sleeping, but now my baby is awake and it will be harder to do. Shoot again.