verbosevictoria

Painting heart-cries, word by word

The Beauty of Boundaries, part 2 July 2, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — verbosevictoria @ 10:34 am
Tags: ,

Now look, we all have this sneaky desire to break the rules now and then. Some of us get addicted to breaking the rules, some of us operate in that “quiet desperation”, but all of us WANT to break the rules.

There’s something about rules we don’t often consider, though. Rules create freedom. Structure encourages creativity. Boundaries are beautiful.

I mean it! If there weren’t any fences, it wouldn’t matter where you were standing. There would be no order to it, no reason to go anywhere or not go somewhere else. Chaos is not freedom, chaos is destruction. Freedom is having a frame of reference and making a journey. You see the fence, you consider your options, and you make your choices. You can get somewhere with fences, be it the wrong somewhere or the best somewhere ever. Rules, fences, boundaries, structure–they give life direction and meaning!

Quick word on extremes:
1) You have to make your own choices; do not depend on rules to guide your life for you. They are there to point out your options, not to get you out of the responsibility for a decision. Grow up!
2) You don’t need to add fake fences in order to keep away from the wrong side of the real fence. More rules are not going to protect from doing something you want to do. Work on actually WANTING the best thing for you, not just hoping you can make yourself listen to good sense.

Okay, so let’s make this practical. I don’t even have to spell it out for you, just read the list.
Road markings, signs, and traffic laws.
Mathematic formulas and principles.
Grammar.
Classroom rules.
Health department guidelines.
The growth of an apple tree from an apple seed, rather than from a peach seed.
A really good party.

That last may actually be better when explained. Have you ever been to party with friends when no one had any ideas of what to do? I don’t mean the fun kind of nothing where inside jokes abound and battles with pool noodles ensue. I mean actual nothing. Sitting around, bored. Now contrast that with parties that have a purpose–well-planned birthdays, surprise anniversary celebrations, and coffee house gatherings to catch up with old friends. Sure, a party can have too many agendas and become boring in that way, but if there’s a balance, fun times are had by all. A balance between expected events and encouraging spontaneity gives people FREEDOM to be creative in their fun because they know what is expected. If I know we’re serving cake at 4pm, then a sudden game of freeze tag at 3:30 is completely acceptable, even if I didn’t plan on it. However, if the party doesn’t even have an ending time and the ice cream cake is sitting out melting, then a sudden game of freeze tag might stress me out a little more. Or a ton. Because I’m a closet perfectionist. (Different blog; long story.)

You get the point. Boundaries are beautiful! They show you where you are, where you can go, and all the choices in between. Embrace them! Use them. Rejoice that you don’t live in literal chaos.

Be creative in your freedom and be responsible for your journey. 🙂

(If you would like to read Part 1, go to the previous post or follow this link: https://verbosevictoria.wordpress.com/2012/07/02/the-beauty-of-boundaries-part-1-2/ )

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