Painting heart-cries, word by word

Freewrite [4] June 2, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — verbosevictoria @ 2:28 pm
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Success. A single concept that embraces every variation conceivable to the human mind. The representation of achievement, of a thing acquired, of accolades deserved.

“What is your definition of success?” The definition remains the same, but the reason for applying it ceaselessly changes. There is always success to be had. The true question is what will it take for you to receive the success available?

I will be successful if I have a presentable house before this evening. I will be successful if, starting after dinner, I can yield to a true Sabbath rest until Sunday night. I will be successful if my children are fed, well-rested, loved, and listened to. I will be successful if my husband can enjoy my good attitude and industrious activity when he gets home. I am already successful for having written this down at all.

That’s a lot of success for one day, and I didn’t even throw in any long-term goals.

My usual trouble lies in the fact that there are always two ways each of those small opportunities of victory can go. I can be successful in lots of stepping-stone goals or–and this makes me cringe–I can be a small failure over and over and over. All my life I have let myself be defined by a fear of failure. It’s been an ever-ready trap, a mountain looming over me, a web of snakes around my ankles.

But I can see it for what it is now. I’ve known for awhile but have not named it, and there is power to be had in naming the monsters in the closet. No matter how big it is or how deep into my life it goes, it has been exposed to the light of God and cannot stand. It may not be a miraculous recovery. It may take years to undo the most apparent damage and only by God’s grace will I keep my children from being infected with the same fear. But the success lies in the fight, for me, not in perceived perfection.

Victory is already mine because I am aware of the battle, I am engaged in it, and I am learning. My desire to train is fierce. My motivation is beyond myself. My glory is the Lord’s. And my faith is constant. No power of hell or scheme of man can stand against the Christ-bought victory. I am NAMED by it.

My God loves me too much to let me settle for less than His Kingdom shining through me. And not in the cutesy “This Little Light of Mine” kind of way. No, He plans to keep me working at it until my very flesh is white-hot and translucent with the fire of His Spirit at work in me. He plans for my fleeting life on this earth to be as a spark in the night sky, whizzing past the eyes, leaving an imprint of flame on the vision long after the spark has disintegrated to whisping smoke. And that flame is not me, never me, but only Him, so that all of us will burn brightest for Him alone, reflecting His very nature and purpose, long after this world has been made new again.

Let Him be remembered! By me, by my life, by the choice to be consumed. Let me be another scintillating point of commemorating His holiness. Let me be sweet incense, as my every day life zooms through time, leaving trails of Holy-Spirit-light in my wake.

Glory, glory, glory to God Almighty!
Glorious Name, that conquers death and destruction;
Glorious Love, that burns brightest in the black of night;
Glorious Will, that inexorably reduces all things
To their original design.
His alone is the song of mankind!
His alone is the Voice of victory!
His alone is the ownership of Truth!
To Him my life is consecrated,
To Him my life rises on the wind,
To Him, all to Him.


2 Responses to “Freewrite [4]”

  1. Stephanie Jones Says:

    Beautiful. Is the poetry original? Or song lyrics?

    • Thank you 🙂 The poetry is definitely original, but I must allow it is also heavily influenced by Stephen Lawhead’s Song of Albion trilogy. Incidentally, if you haven’t read it…READ IT NOW. Ha 🙂

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